Word Play

I think I’ve mentioned before that word play is one of my super powers. But sometimes I get sucked into word play by others. Recently, I’ve noticed people asking me questions using certain terms that aren’t as direct as we’d like to think.

For example, someone asked if it hurts to be loyal to people who aren’t loyal to me. Knowing this person, our history, and others we both know leads me to believe this question was more about a particular individual, but I didn’t want to assume. Instead, I gave an answer that was slightly less vague than the question, then asked a clarifying question of my own.

I answered with, “It has. At this point in my life I know myself and those around me well enough to believe the loyalty goes both ways.”

He seemed quite confused. So, I continued. “I believe the only person who can be loyal or disloyal to me is myself. Because if I give someone else that power, I have already been disloyal to myself.” That ended the conversation.

I actually used to have a huge issue with people breaking my trust, sharing my secrets, lying on me, or betraying me in one way or another. Until a friend pointed out that was all my perception. He also told me that if I really didn’t want anyone to know whatever it was that I shared, stop sharing it. No one can tell anyone else the things I keep to myself.

It kind of sounds negative if you don’t break it down further. First of all, be okay with everything you do, have done, and will do. Know yourself. Love yourself. This doesn’t mean that you have to share everything with everyone or that it isn’t important for friends to keep things private. However, if you don’t give someone or something control to hurt you, it won’t hurt you.

I was talking to a guy, somewhere past the getting to know you phase but not quite the being together phase, and he kept telling me he was looking for a “freak.” He never seemed to have an answer when I asked what that word means to him in every way I could think of to ask.

I started laughing one day when I heard a song describing a freak. That term can mean something completely different to every single person. Some people are more adventurous, so a freak is incredibly adventurous. Whereas an incredibly bashful and modest person might think being naked with the lights on is freaky. That’s drastic, but I’m sure you get the point.

What all of this basically boils down to, is that the American English language is so vague and filled with so many words that really don’t narrow things down at all. Almost everything is left to interpretation. Perhaps that’s why misunderstandings and miscommunication are so common.

I’m definitely not a stranger to those issues. I used to think I was a great communicator because I’m a writer, so words are kind of my thing. Plus, I talk a lot and share a lot. Somewhere along the way I realized none of that matters if I’m not clearly articulating what I’m trying to say in a way that the other person is understanding the same thing I’m meaning.

Again, something that is easier said than done. I ask for clarification a lot. I used to try to overexplain, which typically made it worse if I was already sugarcoating things. Now, I try to be as direct and succinct as possible. It’s a work in progress.