My Tribe

Girlfriends are a funny thing. Some come and go and you feel like they were never actually friends. Others are with you for a lifetime, though there may be some ups and downs. The thing is that none of us is living the same life, viewing this world through the same lens, or interpreting things the same. We think differently and we grow differently.

I don’t really hold anything against anyone I’ve called a friend before. At that time, that’s how I felt. I know that some women aren’t meant to be with me at this point in my journey and I’m good with that.

I’m ecstatic for the women who are by my side. Until recently I thought that a group of women who truly supported each other without judgment or jealousy was something made up in books and movies.

For over a year now I’ve had a particular group of female friends who are just that, though. We all have very different lifestyles and personalities, but we work. I don’t necessarily think that we’re just special (I’d joke that we are), but I think we’re all at a place in life where we know ourselves, accept each other, and appreciate each other.

I’ve never had a group of friends support me in the way these women do. Especially women. (Guy friends are easier to come by, but usually because there’s an ulterior motive lol.)

We have supported each other through illness, family emergencies, kid issues, relationship drama, career changes, out of state moves, and more. But we have actually supported each other.

We call each other out on bs and give our honest opinions, but with grace and respect. We show up for each other with compassion, while keeping each other accountable. We all bring a little something to the table, so together we create a feast.

Now that I’ve experienced these kinds of friendships I don’t see myself settling for less. I have a lot of acquaintances, but I can’t call everyone my friend anymore. I backed myself into a tiny corner at one point in my life and didn’t really have any friends.

As weird as it is to say, I’ve had to learn how relationships work. I’m still adjusting to having healthy relationships and boundaries, even with myself, but it’s beautiful. I’m at this point because I’ve been doing the work. I’m not done, but I’m becoming a better, fuller version of me every day.

I’m learning to examine old wounds with a fresh perspective and do what I need to do to heal it. Sometimes I scratch the scab off and it becomes a bleeding mess, so I have to sit back and give it some time. Then approach it from another angle after I do some more self work.

Each of the women I call my closest friends today has brought an incredible lesson with them. Actually, multiple lessons. I believe I am a better woman for it.

We can laugh, cry, smile, and just enjoy life together. But we also push each other, lovingly, to be the best versions of ourselves. We don’t tolerate disrespect against ourselves or each other, and when there’s an issue we talk it out.

Even though we don’t even all live in the same state anymore, we talk in our group chat #badmoms daily, plan trips, and get together as often as possible. While we are all so different, we share a similar sense of humor and giving nature.

We had a group gift exchange over the holidays. Each of us gave the entire group a small, sentimental gift that was similar to what everyone else gave. That was ironic and funny.

We’re also still in awe that our group bond has continued to grow and become stronger with each passing week. I never knew what I was missing, but now this group of women holds such an incredibly large part of my heart. I’m so very grateful to have these women besides me in this life. I love y’all.

We have so much more to experience together, and I can’t wait for it!