My Proof

Yesterday I turned 41 years old. Today, I am posting my 50th blog post. I am exhilarated that I am here and so very happy with the life I have built and continue to build for myself. I am in the process of creating and living my dreams, starting with becoming a published author.

And guess what? This morning, I received the physical proof of my first novel in MY name!!! I am beyond excited. I have literally dreamed of being here since elementary school. Each step of the way has brought about a new sense of pride and excitement.

When I got about halfway done I realized I was making it happen. I had a moment. Then I got scared. I was afraid of failure and rejection and so many other ridiculous scenarios I made up in my head.

Then I started writing again. I completed the first draft. I just stared at my laptop screen with tears rolling down my face and tingles all over my body, realizing that I had completed a NOVEL with over 95k words.

I have had several obstacles along the way trying to figure out how to move this project forward…and sometimes I’d get discouraged and put it away. Then I’d find renewed encouragement and motivation and get going again.

At this point, I have the second book nearly finished, as well. (It’s in editing.) Two of the other books in the series are in various stages of writing and the remaining five are outlined. Sometimes I still go through a series of doubt, wondering if anyone is actually going to want to read these books or care about the story, or what they’ll say about my writing skills, and other times I don’t really care.

I mean, I actually did it. I set a goal, and worked to make it happen. I really did drive rideshare full-time for more than three years, plus some part-time years. One of the most common questions I got was, “What else do you do?”

I shared about my writing with some of my passengers. I told one woman that I had finished the book and was on the next steps to getting it out, but what if no one wanted to buy it?

She said, “Are you kidding me? Who cares?” I didn’t know where to go with that. She ignored my confused look and continued. “Do you know how many people TALK about writing a book? And do you know how many people actually do? Girl, you should be PROUD of yourself. You accomplished something GREAT whether you sell zero copies or a million.”

I am so grateful for that passenger. She put something into perspective for me to remind myself of what I had accomplished instead of being worried about how the world received it.

And this morning, when I cut open the box from Amazon and held MY BOOK in my hands, I cried. I can tell you that I have NEVER been so very proud of myself as I am today. If the world never reads one word, or if people hate it and hate me, or if people love it and love me, I DID IT!

Every time I glance at the book, I cry again. My eyes are freaking leaking like crazy today. And I don’t care. I am LOVING it. I am loving ME. (A friend – Sarah – told me that leaking eyes is a side effect of being legendary!)

Please keep going. Whatever dream or goal you are working on right now, just keep going. One step (or word or whatever) at a time. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. It doesn’t matter what hurdles or obstacles you face and have to climb or jump or push out of the way. JUST KEEP GOING!!!

YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

Because no matter how big or small your dream is, you owe it to YOURSELF to make it happen. You are worth it.

Thank you for “listening” to me ramble today. I’m sure there are tons of grammatical errors in this post, and it’s okay! Because today I am super emotional and excited and just needed to share. BEST DAY EVER! (until tomorrow…)