Mama’s

Since Mother’s Day is a couple of days away it seems like an appropriate topic for today. First, I have to say that I am blessed to be the mom/aunt/bonus mom/friend/etc to several young adults and littles. It’s truly an honor and something I don’t take lightly.

I’m especially grateful for my boys, the two that made me a mom so many years ago. Thank you both for choosing me! I hope you know that I will always choose you and be the best example I can be for you.

Next, I am surrounded by some amazing women who also hold the title of Mama. We all have different styles of parenting, but love our young ones more than anything I could ever measure. We all mess up at times, or wish we handled things a little differently, but we are present and wouldn’t have it any other way.

Last, but certainly not least, I am so very happy that when Mamas were given out I got mine. She has been an inspiration and loving, guiding force throughout my entire life so far…even when I did things that hurt, upset, disappointed, or terrified her.

One thing that has been consistent throughout my life is my mother’s unconditional love, acceptance, forgiveness, compassion, and encouragement. Even when I’m choosing something she doesn’t understand, she stands behind me to make the choices that I think best suits my life (or the ones to do what I simply want to do, even when I know it’s not best for me).

We had a bit of a scare a few months back when she spent a few weeks in the ICU due to COVID and pneumonia complications. We had to make some really tough decisions, such as if we wanted her to be intubated if it came to that. Those conversations took me back to the night that my brother and I had to make decisions and sign paperwork to take our father off of life support and let him pass.

I have my own beliefs on life and death and believe I’m as prepared as I possibly can be for the day she (or I) leave this world. I do accept that the one consistent and sure thing we have in common is that this life will end at some point.

I spent one evening thinking about my beliefs and how it applied to what my family was going through. I realized that I would be at peace with her passing, because of my own beliefs and my understanding of hers. However, I’m being selfish in the way that I don’t want to experience this life without her.

I realized that I would have to step up to take care of some of the people and things she does, and finish some of the things she started. And I would do so with a completely grateful heart that I am able to. However, I don’t want to. I don’t want her to leave us just yet.

I did something I’ve never done. I reached out on my social media and asked family and friends to please say a prayer or send a positive thought that night. I did my best to be there for her husband and my brother, and to talk openly to my children about everything going on, how I felt, what I thought, and how I was processing it. That was more because one day they will be in my place, and I want them to have all the tools I am capable of giving them so they can move forward without me when that time comes.

I realize that I am incredibly lucky to have my Mama here with me still. For those of you who don’t, please know that your Mama lives on through your memories and every part of you that she is a part of. I’m sending love and hugs to you all.

For my Mama, thank you. Simply for being you. I love you.

To the new mama’s in my life, I am looking forward to continuing to watch you grow into amazing young women and embark on one of the greatest journeys this life has to offer!