Health Goals or Fails?

I took a step toward bettering my health at the end of January by joining a gym, complete with sessions with a personal trainer. Part of this was fueled by wanting to move my body and get in better shape, and part was because I didn’t know where to start. Especially taking into consideration some of my injuries.

Shortly after making the decision to join the gym and work with a trainer, an opportunity to book a girl’s adventure trip popped up. One of the excursions that I really want to take part in is repelling down a waterfall. However, they have a weight and waist-size limit.

I looked at that as motivation to stay on my plan. My actual goal didn’t have anything to do with my weight. Really, I just want to be healthy and strong enough to take part in the things I enjoy, such as adventurous excursions, hiking, climbing, etc.

At first, I was on a pretty good path. In the first three months I hadn’t lost weight, but my body was changing. I could feel and see the difference, plus they did a body composition test that revealed my muscle was up, body fat was down, and even more importantly the unhealthy fatty tissue around my vital organs was decreasing.

Some things happened and I stopped going to the gym. My weight started to creep up and I started feeling awful. I’ve had less energy, and just don’t feel as great. Body aches have resumed. Overall, just not a great feeling.

So, I started going again. Even though it’s only been once a week, it’s a start. My struggle is getting into a routine when nothing in my life is routine. I travel randomly (personal and work), my sleep schedule is all over the place, among other things. To make it work, I think I need to be more intentional about what I’m eating, and make sure I work out at least 3 times a week even if I don’t make it to the gym.

A new shoulder injury after resuming the gym is not helping.

Of course knowing this and doing this are two completely different things. We shall see how it unfolds, as I have less than two months to make this happen for the trip. I have a lifetime to make it happen for my forever, though.

I’m working on accepting that I may miss out on this amazing opportunity because I didn’t put in the work. Everything in life can be like that. We may have the best of intentions and a strong desire, but without action nothing changes. (Except the reality that nothing changed and beating oneself up.)

Taking care of my body will likely change how it looks. In a strange way, I may have been avoiding this because I do preach body positivity and loving one’s body no matter what it may look like in the mirror, or to others.

However, I also believe health should be a focus. I’ve been fairly open with some of my health concerns, such as back, neck, and nerve damage from a car accident. Those injuries have drastically changed my quality of life, but I can make some adjustments and improvements.

Most people don’t see the pain or recovery I go through to do most of the things I do. (A few select friends and my mom hear about it occasionally. My apologies and I love y’all!) Trust me, I pay for everything I do. And I’d love to lower that bill.

I’m mostly sharing because I know I’m not alone in this cycle of wanting to do better, then beating myself up when I don’t. But also, for accountability. If I look back in a year and have made no improvement I’ll have to question if I really want to feel better.