Not So Happy Ending

I have a lot of guy friends. That tends to happen when you’re a woman who shares a passion that is traditionally more accepted and enjoyed by men. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of amazing women who ride motorcycles, but it is still a predominantly male-dominated world. So, I have a large network of guy friends I ride and hang out with.

One night, a group of us met up at a bar. One of the guys was there with a couple of childhood friends who were celebrating the 21st birthday of one of the guys’ sons. We hung out, laughed, and drank a few rounds of special shots the bartender suggested for the occasion. (They were called “wet p*$$!#*”)

The guys started making bets about whether or not the young man would be able to hold his liquor. I may have batted my eyes and asked the young man if he’d like to share a wet [shot] with me. His dad shook his head as he watched his son take another shot.

The bets and dares and whatnot escalated as to what kind of “action” the group might be able to incite for the young man, as he wasn’t versed in certain things yet. Anyway, there happened to be a massage parlor next door. They were open, even though it was the middle of the night.

The group headed next door. As the men filed in the back one by one as rooms and masseuses came available, the group in the lobby was talking about “happy endings.” I was the only female there besides one, who was a hookup for one of the guys. They were, uhm, busy, in the couples massage room.

I made a comment and one of the guys zeroed in on me. He asked, “You’d really get one? A happy ending? Like, you’d get naked and everything?”

Being somewhat adventurous, I answered honestly. “Of course. I wouldn’t pay for it, but if someone else wanted to, I’d try it. I’m curious.” I mean, I’ve heard of happy endings for men, but never heard of a woman who’d gotten one.

Another guy in the group had a crush on me for quite some time. It wasn’t exactly a secret. He saw that as an opportunity and jumped on it. “So, if I paid for a couples massage so we’d be in the same room, you’d do it?”

I said yes, not really expecting anything to happen. He went to the ATM and arranged a “couple’s massage” for us. Little did I know, there is apparently an art to the whole happy ending thing. He wasn’t aware either.

Once they cleaned up the room from the “couple” that was with our group, we were led back to a room with two tables. We both stripped and laid on our tables. They brought a male in to massage me, while a woman worked on him.

I don’t even know if he relaxed enough to enjoy his massage, because I think his concentration was on me the whole time. I hope I’m wrong. Either way, he didn’t know happy ending etiquette and I ended up with a half-ass massage and disappointment.

I was let down. I wanted to see what a happy ending was like, especially as a woman. And, I was frustrated. I had built up some sort of excitement and expectation and had none of it delivered or relieved.

The masseuse left the room and we got dressed. It was awkward and uncomfortable. He sat next to me as I finished dressing, asking me about my experience. I had an attitude. He leaned in toward me, to try to kiss me I think, and I bent down and tied my shoes. I immediately got up and headed back out through the lobby, then outside where most of the group was waiting.

It turns out the young man never got his birthday massage because he threw up all over the room before he could even undress. His father’s massage got cut short so he could clean it up and take care of his son.

Most of the group left very happy that night. I went home with a not so happy ending. I’d still love to talk to a woman who’s experienced that!