Thankful

Thanksgiving has completely evolved in my life as far as what it means and the traditions (or lack thereof) that I honor. In fact, my entire outlook on holidays has changed drastically over the years.

When I was younger I had a huge family. We would rotate who’s house we were at, but the whole family was usually there. The guys would hang out outside or watch TV, the kids would be running around playing, and the women would be in the kitchen cooking, chatting, and cackling away.

We’d eat, the kids would clear the table, and the women would clean up while the men lounged around the TV or made their way back outside. Throughout the evening everyone would make plates to go and head home.

As my family started to experience a lot of issues, they wouldn’t get together anymore. Some holidays were just my immediate family, or we’d split the day between other family members’ homes. Then it became more of a couple of friends with my family. It just tapered off as divide and death claimed what I once knew.

My mother always tried to help us make the best of every situation. I don’t remember when it started, but she would go around the table and we’d all have to say what we were grateful for before we could eat.

I used to hate that, because I just wanted to eat. Now, I see the value in it. I’ve actually done it with my own children. (Except we would have the conversation as we ate. Win-win.)

My first few years as a mom were spent trying to figure out how to adult and parent. Those phases of my life came together rather early and overlapped completely. I didn’t cook large, elaborate meals. As a matter of fact, we used to go out to eat for the holidays. When I could drag my children’s father to my mother’s house we would go there, but that wasn’t easy to manage most years.

Then, I tried to cook. I did a mostly good job, but my stepfather rescued my turkey. (They showed up right on time for that!) That was actually our first year in Vegas, so they drove up from California just to help me cook! (Not really.)

I’ve made a few holiday meals at this point. For me, the magic is in who I’m with, not what we’re eating. I don’t mind cooking. I don’t mind helping. If I go elsewhere, I always clean up.

Side note – especially for the young women (and men) who haven’t been taught this lesson; if you are invited to a gathering and didn’t help prepare the meal, always offer to clean up. Do the dishes. You may not know where everything goes, but you should know how to do the dishes. My very first “serious” boyfriend’s grandmother taught me that on Christmas of 1997.

Holidays have looked different over the past few years as my boys have become adults. All three of us typically work different schedules. I don’t think all of us have been off for a holiday in a few years. We’ve done potlucks with some of my friends a few times.

At this point, I don’t necessarily view holidays as I did growing up. I don’t believe in a lot of the “traditions” of what started some of them. However, I do enjoy the extra opportunity to spend time with family and friends when it presents itself. I cherish every moment of that, regardless of the day.

I’m grateful for the air I breathe, the water and food I take in, the wonderful people in my life I call family and friends, and every opportunity that has come my way. I am grateful I can share this, and grateful that you’re reading this. I am grateful for these things today, tomorrow, and every day.

Whatever your views may be on how the holiday came to be, do you use the opportunity to reflect on what you are grateful for? Or do you do that daily? Do you and your family have a set time or tradition to share in gratitude?