What is Success?

We can all look up the word in the dictionary (or online for the younger folks) and have a general idea of what the word means. The literal definition, “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose,” is incredibly generic.

It’s incredibly important to understand what success means to you, in every area of your life and every venture you take on. We’re so quick to label each other and ourselves as successful or not successful. Most of the time when we do this we haven’t even paused long enough to figure out what that really means.

Many moons ago when I was dating my children’s father he asked who I knew that I would consider successful. I named two or three people. He wasn’t on the list. That became a huge sticking point because his pride was hurt and his insecurities were triggered.

Instead of randomly blurting out a couple of names, I would have been better off establishing what we were actually talking about. If you asked ten different people the same question about success you would likely receive ten different answers.

Some people see success as a dollar amount, or time frame, or attaining a particular goal or material item. We rarely stop to think through everything we do and determine what our desired outcome or goal is. We just walk through life like robots assuming we know what success is.

Let me share an example. I was upset over the way an event I planned turned out. I was crying about it to a trusted friend. (Not literal tears, but it’s all the same.)

He stopped me and asked me what my goal was for the event. Like a deer in the headlights, I just stared at him. Goal? What did he even mean? It just didn’t turn out good. I wanted more people there and…he cut me off.

He asked what the purpose of the event was. I shared it was to raise money for a charity project, bring awareness, and give our organization some credibility and opportunity to serve our community.

He asked how much money we wanted to raise and how we were measuring the awareness we brought, our credibility, and ability to serve the community. I stumbled with my answers because I didn’t have answers to all of those questions. He asked if we accomplished any of those things.

I shared that exceeded our financial goal, which was the only real clear goal we had. He said it sounded like a success to him.

Upon reflecting, and preparing for the next event, I learned to pause and set clear standards for success. Instead of leaving it generic and open to interpretation, be specific.

I try to set clear, specific, intentional goals for every day, week, month, year, project, phone call, etc. When I do that I find that I am more successful in reaching my desired outcomes and goals. When I don’t do that, I am oftentimes left feeling like I failed.

Embarking on this journey as an actual and official author, publishing my work, has opened up that whole can of worms again. How do I define success as an author? What makes my books successful or not?

I was sharing about the books with a rideshare passenger last year. I dismissed my project because I told her I may never sell a single copy, so I’m not sure that I can call myself an author. She told me to knock it off. She asked if I knew how many people wanted to write a book, said they were going to write a book, or even started a book versus how many actually do. She gave me some statistics.

With a fresh perspective, I decided to just be proud of myself for finishing the first one. For pursuing my vision and sticking with it and completing it. I allowed myself to bask in the amazement of that accomplishment.

Then I started the next one. And now, we’re here. I’m getting ready to share my launch date and share my thoughts with all of you. In a huge way. And if not a single soul purchases any of my books, that’s okay. Because I am an author. I wrote a book. Actually, several.

It’s okay to give yourself credit for succeeding in a task or goal. Big and small. When you start focusing on what you are succeeding at and setting clear goals, even if they seem small, your confidence will start to soar and you will feel successful, you’ll think successful, and you’ll be even more successful.

What is something that you are successful at?