The Game of Life

Life can be described as many things. I am a believer that we make our lives what they are. No, I don’t think we control all circumstances, nor do I think that people (specifically children) bring abuse onto themselves.

I do, however, believe that as we grow and become aware of our cognitive thought, we determine more of our reality than we like to give ourselves credit for. I commonly say perspective is everything. I believe that.

For example, I was in a toxic relationship for fourteen years. We were not good together. It was highly volatile and controlling and directly impacted us and our children. I have went through several emotions and thoughts regarding the situation.

I now take responsibility for choosing to be in that relationship. He didn’t force me to be there. In fact, anyone would be hard pressed to force me to do much of anything. I might feel coerced or think something is the lesser of two evils, but I am a force to be reckoned with if I am adamantly against something.

As I’ve stated before, I don’t think that me taking responsibility for my choices lessens anyone else’s responsibility for theirs. He did some cruel and hurtful things to me. However, that has nothing to do with my role in the situation.

When I took full responsibility and recognized my choice in every aspect of my life, I freed myself. I was no longer a victim. I was able to learn and grow. And to look at things differently.

I’ve spent hours watching a good friend play chess with several different people over the last few years. I’ve never personally played a game, but I have learned how the pieces move and what they can and cannot do.

It’s been fascinating to watch and learn. He shared a theory with me one day after schooling me on the history of the game.

First, I’ll summarize the history to the best of my understanding. Kings would play chess instead of going to war, hence the term “a king’s game,” when possible. They found that the king who won the game would have won the war. Instead of bringing senseless death and despair to the kingdoms, they would settle their differences over the game.

The reason for that was that it is a game of strategy, logic, and thinking. The man (or woman) who can think ahead, see a variety of possibilities, plan their defense and offense around those possibilities, and figure out the most probable scenarios would lead their kingdom to victory.

The theory my friend shared was that if he watched the way a person played a game of chess, he could tell you how they live their life. I thought that was nonsense. So, as he’d play different people, he’d share with me what his assessment was. Then we’d ask his opponent questions and see what his values were and what was important in his life.

I was completely mystified. He was right every single time. He even played people that I knew personally, then shared his assessment with me. Again, he was always right.

A man who views his wife, or mother if he’s not in a relationship, in high regard will be strong when using the queen, and will protect that piece at all costs. A man who views women as disposable, less than, or unimportant will be careless with her or not know how to use her to serve his game well.

A religious man will maneuver well with the bishops. Someone who sees great importance in their home and family typically utilizes the rooks well. Just like everything else in life, we are strongest in the things that resonate with our core values and what we know best.

Many people like the queen, because her movement is the most versatile in the game. She is said to be the most powerful piece. However, the game can be won without her. While the king is not a powerful piece because of his limited movement, the game ends when he is in check.

However, every single piece is worthless, despite their point value, without the king. The best players are leaders. True leaders who see themselves in that role and are willing to sacrifice any given piece for the betterment and survival of the kingdom.

I take this to symbolize the interactions we all have in life. When our lives resemble balance between our personal relationships, beliefs, home, and work, we are typically successful overall and can maneuver around unsuspecting issues that arise.

Of course success is something else entirely, as the definition is fluid. Perhaps I’ll share my version of what success means at another time.