Finally a Bridesmaid

Since I spent the first 14 years of adulthood without really having friends, I didn’t attend many weddings. As a matter of fact, only my mother’s. I was asked to be the Maid of Honor in my cousin’s wedding, but wasn’t able to travel to Oklahoma to attend or be part of it.

Even after all of that and maintaining several friendships, I’ve only attended a handful of weddings. There doesn’t seem to be a ton of them in my social circle. The only family wedding I’ve been to in the last twenty years was my oldest son’s.

One of my closest friends got married last November after having to change the date a few times due to life’s curve balls. During one girl’s trip to Nashville we took it upon ourselves to throw her a surprise bachelorette party.

We had banners and temporary tattoos and sang to her when we announced it. Since none of us could think of a proper song, two of us broke out into “happy birthday” simultaneously. It became a thing for the rest of the trip that we were celebrating her birthday – or something like that. We took her on a tractor ride through the city with a bar and live entertainment. 

Over a year later we gave her a surprise bridal shower at a winery in California. We may have made her cry both times.

In our big group chat one of the girls teased her that we were going to be bridesmaids and show up wearing coordinating dresses even though she hadn’t asked us. She shared that she really did want to ask us but was afraid of jinxing our friendships because she doesn’t even talk to any of the girls who were in the bridal party of her first wedding over a decade ago.

After some conversation, it became official that we were her bride tribe. I told her she’s stuck with me, whether she likes it or not. Another one of the girls said something similar.

Most of us went to the bridal store with her to pick out dresses during one of her trips to Vegas. She didn’t care what colors or styles we chose, she only wanted us to all look our best. Britt told her that was nonsense, that we at least needed to wear the same color so as to not clash with her dress or the colors the children were wearing.

I mentioned one of the colors that looks great on everyone is wine, which actually complemented her daughter’s dress beautifully. Each of us chose a different style of dress in the same color. We celebrated with dinner that night.

Even though we kind of bullied her into having us as bridesmaids, it was an amazing experience. To stand up with her as she shared vows with her husband was an incredible honor. I didn’t expect her to actually incorporate us into her wedding the way she did, but I’m so very grateful for the experience.

There are several movies, books, and horror stories from women who have been bridesmaids several times over and seem to paint it as more of a chore than anything else. I saw it as a great honor that I was entrusted with the role and duties that came with it.

I think we take for granted what it means to play certain support roles in other people’s lives. When someone trusts you to be there and wants you to be included in one of the most special days of their lives; that’s love. And love comes in so many forms other than the typical romantical kind that’s talked about most.

One of the most important forms of love for me, especially recently, has been in friendship. Friends can come and go, serving as a season, reason, lesson, and sometimes for the rest of our lifetime. I hope I’m half the friend to these ladies that they are to me.

Thank you for letting me take part in your special day, Stevi and Anthony! You are friends that have become part of my chosen family. I love you both and wish you happiness and peace on your journey together as we approach your anniversary!