Life Changes (Part One)

There’s been a lot of change in my life recently, as well as almost everyone I’m close to. I know change is the one thing that we will all experience in between the dashes in the dates that define our existence…but this has me contemplating a lot of things.

One of the most prevalent things is how many people pass through our lives because relationships, situations, and feelings change; and because of the natural circle of life so to speak. I’m going to address both kinds of losses, but we’ll start with death.

Death touched my life early, losing all of my great grandparents and grandparents except one before I was 14. That doesn’t include family friends, uncles, and a cousin’s newborn. By the time I graduated I also lost a friend to suicide and a couple of others to murder. These experiences taught me that death was just a natural part of life. I didn’t understand how to feel and grieve, though.

Early into adulthood I added my father, a couple more uncles, and my mother-in-law to the list of people I loved that moved on from this life. I still didn’t understand how to feel and grieve for those losses. Part of that may have been due to the distractions of life.

It may have numbed me in some ways, though that doesn’t feel quite true. I feel; very deeply. Because I love so deeply, I feel the losses just as deeply. As I have matured and developed my belief system, I look at things differently.

I find gratitude in knowing that my path crossed with these people and that I got to experience them in my life. I like to reminisce on the jokes and good times, and remember the lessons. Looking through the photo albums in my phone that spread over the last decade or so tells stories.

Those stories include some incredible experiences, a lot of laughs, some tears, and a lot of love. I think we let things get in the way of what truly matters to us at the end of the day sometimes. 

For example, when people pass it tends to bring things to the surface, such as grudges or irritations and guilt. Most of the time, the issues seem pretty insignificant and trivial when the other party is no longer here.

When I got involved in the motorcycle community I knew there would be loss. Statistically, we put ourselves at great risk by riding. However, my personal belief is that when it’s my time, it’s my time – no matter where I am or what I’m doing. Therefore, I plan to actively live and enjoy every moment possible.

With that being said, it seems that this community of mine has far more funerals than weddings and baby showers put together. I accept this, and I still choose to ride. My kids and my mom know that I am well aware of the risks I take with my lifestyle choice. That doesn’t mean it’ll be easy when they get that call one day.

It seems that my immediate circle of family and friends have experienced an incredibly high percentage of those losses over the past couple of years. Most of the faces in the photos I’m sharing in this piece aren’t walking this earth anymore. 

I’m sharing these memories to express my love and gratitude for these people being a part of my journey. As long as we remember the impact of these souls, they live on. I love you all.

For those who are still here and reading these words, may we all strive to love more. To find understanding, compassion, gratitude, and peace. And when we no longer resonate with others, may we move on from those situations with grace and gratitude, so as to not create or cause additional pain. Life gives us all enough of that.