The Beginning of my Character Development

Once upon a time I didn’t realize my mind worked differently from everyone else’s. It was my only experience and I just didn’t know that none of us experiences anything the same. Sadly, I didn’t fully realize this until well into adulthood. (It has made relationships so much easier, though!)

As far back as I can remember I have been creating characters, scenes, storylines, etc. without realizing that’s what I was doing. It may have started with my dolls and Barbies. I used to have them act out entire novellas, though some storylines were more like the soap operas my grandmother and mother watched, with a continued storyline.

There was cheating, friendship, betrayal, breakups, children, changing roommates in my Barbie mansion, etc. I would act out scenes (fake tears and all) for my friends when we played “house.”

In middle school there were a lot of commercials regarding the effects of doing drugs while pregnant. I remember making up a whole “commercial” using whiteout (the only thing I had with me) to express how it could mess up an unborn baby’s life. I was bawling by the end of my scene. My friends loved it.

I’ve had more than my fair share of sleepless nights and insomnia. To put myself to sleep I’d have an entire storyline with characters playing in my head. I could vividly see, feel, hear, and smell the scenes I created.

Those daydreams (if that’s what they were) would sometimes last one night, while other nights they would continue for weeks at a time. Sometimes I’d have to repeat a storyline, making slight alterations because the story didn’t seem to go well the way I had originally pictured it.

All of these memories came up about a week ago as a friend and I were sitting in traffic after a concert. There were two officers talking (while the third directed traffic) and I made up their whole conversation as I perceived it was taking place. My friend joined in and we laughed at our storyline.

I shared with her how that kind of thing is not abnormal for me, because I make up situations, characteristics, and conversations for several people I pass on the street when I’m driving around. She laughed at me, not realizing I was serious. Again, I didn’t realize this wasn’t everyone’s experience.

I have shared that these wandering thoughts is actually what brought about The Rideshare Chronicles trilogy and Murder Mystery Series. My mind works in mysterious (and sometimes scary) ways.

Sometimes I actually feel the emotions of the characters in my little internal dramas immensely. I have cried and laughed out loud depending on what they were going through. I’m a part of the cast sometimes, though not always. At times I know the characters in my “real” life, and sometimes I have no clue where they came from.

I suppose this is one of the reasons I love to write. If I get the characters and stories out of my head, they can move on in peace while the next one comes to life.

I promise I’m not crazy. Well, maybe a little. I suppose your opinion on that depends on your own experiences and understandings in life. (But even if you do think I’m crazy, shhhh. Let me live my crazy life!)

Actually, I accidentally stumbled upon a term that’s new to me, that let me know I’m not totally alone in this. Apparently, I have what is referred to as Maladaptive Daydreams, which can become an issue when someone avoids real life to live in their daydreams. However, the vividness and multilayers of my daydreams sound a lot like this. I guess I learned something new and unexpected today! (Hopefully you did too.)